Hello, I'm Martin "Dirty Sanchez" Luzcak and I need to apologize for not being able to dedicate my full attention to bringing down and exposing "Coach John" for the fraud that he is. I mean seriously, as shown below in this completely unretouched photo, who would actually let their kids play for this guy?????  I promise you there will be more!

Martin "Dirty Sanchez" Luczak